At last, an international survey result that the nation can take some comfort from.

Every time you see a survey comparing various national attributes, the score for Thailand is often disappointing.  Corruption? – persistently high, no matter whose government is in power.  Press and media freedom? – disappearing without trace.  Economic inequality? – a regional embarrassment.  English language proficiency? – don’t ask.

(Well, maybe do ask.  Have you ever heard a Vietnamese representative at some ASEAN do talking in English?  Or even worse, reading an English text aloud?  It normally takes a minute or two before you realize that (a) this is not Vietnamese; (b) this is not even fractured French; and (c) this is an English you’re never going to understand.  And it’s no good switching to the translation headphones – the interpreters are just mumbling and making it up.  Well guess what?  Vietnam scores better than Thailand in the latest scan of English proficiency, that’s how bad it gets.)

Where can the nation look for some comparative pride in its achievements?  World record lese majesté prosecutions?  Well, yes, that’s undoubtedly a winner but I wouldn’t boast about it. 

But now Thailand has a respectable score in a respectable competition.  The Gallup Organization’s Positive Experience Index for 2013 has just been published and Thailand comes in at a praiseworthy joint 12^th (out of 138, no less) in an ASEAN solidarity tie with Indonesia and the Philippines, who also scored 80.

Not only that, but this is a cheering improvement on the previous year’s ranking of joint 34^th and a score of 75. 

Now I am not one to criticize, especially during these troubled times, and if Gallup don’t know how to conduct a poll, nobody does.  But I am a mite surprised at the roster of nations that place higher than Thailand in their latest survey.  10 of the 11 outperforming countries are Latin American, with Denmark nestled in among them at joint 6^th. 

They include countries that have suffered brutal military onslaughts and/or economic terrorism from their big neighbour to the north (no, not Mexico) (nor Canada).  What experience do the likes of Paraguay (1^st), Panama (2^nd), Guatemala, Nicaragua, Ecuador, Colombia, Honduras, Venezuela and El Salvador have to be so positive about?  (I’ll grant you army-less Costa Rica, which has twice topped the New Economics Foundation Happy Planet Index.)

It seems as if adversity somehow fosters positive experiences.

Which might help to explain Thailand’s rise in the positive experience ranks even as political polarization exacerbated tensions in the country.  Maybe a bit of aggro is needed to make everybody a little happier.

And this makes me wonder about the plans by the military government to promote national happiness.  Gen Prayuth has already discovered (without the help of a Gallup poll) that since May 20, people are happier (and the gushing encomiums among the letters to the Bangkok Post editor seem to prove his point, even if farangs were not his target audience). 

And the good General will nobly sacrifice time from running the country to a series of Friday talks when, on all channels, he aims to bring even further happiness to the people.  We have already seen the brave boys in green out in Pathum Thani giving away ice cream and free haircuts. 

Now all this may make the population a bit better instructed, more obese and better coiffed, but will it make for even better positive experiences than the high level already attained? 

This rhetorical question is of course not intended as any form of criticism, heaven forfend.  But it would be nice to be reassured that the generals have properly thought this through.  Paradoxical as it may seem, the military might increase national happiness by allowing the expression of the odd dissident opinion.

Not that I’m volunteering, mind you.

About author:  Bangkokians with long memories may remember his irreverent column in The Nation in the 1980's. During his period of enforced silence since then, he was variously reported as participating in a 999-day meditation retreat in a hill-top monastery in Mae Hong Son (he gave up after 998 days), as the Special Rapporteur for Satire of the UN High Commission for Human Rights, and as understudy for the male lead in the long-running ‘Pussies -not the Musical' at the Neasden International Palladium (formerly Park Lane Empire).