Been a cracking couple of weeks for the Royal Thai Police.  

First they nab long-term fugitive from justice Somchai Khunploem, aka Kamnan Poh, godfather of the naughty bits of the east coast (and more), father of the Minister of Culture and the Mayor of Pattaya (and more), and on the lam to escape prison terms for murder and corruption (and more).

What a strong message to other mafia-type malefactors!  You think you can get away with living in your luxury compound, having to sneak in and out of hospital under an assumed name (which Samitivej Hospital claims neither to have suspected nor recorded – must remember to try tapping Kim sae Tang’s account next time I need to see a doctor).  Your relatives and friends cannot visit you openly for fear of charges of aiding and abetting a convicted criminal to escape justice.  What a lonely, sordid existence this must have been!

But now, thanks to the sterling work of a police force that took only months to locate him living at home, Kamnan Poh is now safely behind bars.  Or rather, thanks to the dutifully filial intervention of the said Minister, he is safely in the VIP suite of the local hospital, where his nearest and dearest can visit him quite openly.  (See, that was Uncle SMS’s big mistake – not having a son who was a Minister.)

Not that there could be any suspicion that these bedside meetings with the movers and shakers of Chonburi ever touch on the topic of spiriting him away again.  Or of perverting the course of justice.  Or of buying off officials.  No, no suspicion at all.

I mean, the police have already ruled that ‘filial gratitude’ is a valid excuse for aiding and abetting, guaranteeing impunity.  Though one might note in passing that Article 86 of the Criminal Code inculpates anyone who aids and abets ‘for any reason whatsoever’, so it is not clear where the police get this idea that ‘filial gratitude’ is not covered under ‘any reason whatsoever’.

Nor is it immediately clear how the female doctor found in the car when he was caught is ‘filial’ enough to have such gratitude.  Nor the kamnan of a local tambon who was also in the back seat.  Nor the driver, come to that.  Influential as the Khunploem family is, there must be a finite limit to the number of its filially grateful members.

And then we have the saga of the half-constructed police stations and rong phak all over the country.  The original plan to have local bidding for constructions contracts was amended to one contract for all 396 copshops and 163 accommodation blocks throughout the country.  

(And before anyone points fingers, let me make clear that the suggestion in a recent Alien Thoughts column for more streamlined corruption in this country was (a) sarcastic and (b) long, long before the police made this decision.)

Now one spec in the single mega-project was no subcontracting.  Which kind of makes sense, since you’d just be going back to local bids but without the bidding and paying someone to do what you were going to do yourself anyway.

Alas. No officer in all 9 police regions spotted that when the construction crews eventually started work, they were in fact sub-contactors.  An easy thing to miss, occurring as it did at 559 sites around the country.  And the police can’t be expected to be everywhere, can they?  Even at their own future police stations.

But then it all went whoopsy.  The shady outfit that won the bid, with political connections (according to the DSI) but not to the Democrats (according to the Democrats), took the first instalment payments of 1.5 billion baht on their 5.7 billion offer. The (illegally engaged) subcontractors started work but never got paid, so they promptly downed tools.

But search as I might, I can find no report of any loss in police working efficiency.  I find that a telling tribute to the boys in brown.  There they are, slaving away in rented digs, half-built police stations, even working under canvas according to some reports, and they are still as effective a crime-fighting force as they were when lived and worked in proper accommodation.  Makes you wonder why we ever bothered building proper police stations in the first place.  

But Bangkokians have an opportune chance to show their faith in this fine crime-busting institution.  Two of the leading 3 candidates in this month’s election for Bangkok Governor are policemen.  

Vote early.  Vote often.  Vote brown.