At 39,000 feet somewhere over eastern Europe, my then 3-year-old had had enough of this noisy metal tube that had carried him from Thailand and started trying to pry open the cabin window, muttering ‘Get outside’.

In retrospect it was kinda cute; at the time it was cue for a sigh and another desperate search for some kind of distraction. Little did I realize at the time that he was in fact displaying early signs of being qualified to run for president.

Mitt Romney’s wife is thankfully safe after an onboard electrical fire caused an emergency landing of her private jet (though I think the use of ‘private’ in any context containing the word ‘Romney’ is almost certain to be a tautology). And let’s be charitable and assume it was the shock of the moment that caused her husband to suggest that airplanes should be re-designed so that their windows could be opened.

So his wife wouldn’t suffer from the smoke, you understand. It could have choked her. Or at the very least messed up her hairdo something awful.

I’m not sure we needed experts to tell us what was so foolish about this suggestion (in addition to letting air in, Mrs Romney could well be let out, with some force; more air means more oxygen means more fire; and a sudden change in cabin pressure could rip the fuselage apart making the fire an almost negligible danger). And I am sure that even if he becomes President of the US of A, they won’t let even him put latches on aircraft windows. Though he has perhaps just won himself the airline hijackers’ vote

But as a citizen of the world, and one who already looks on in horror at the execrable decision-making that goes on in Washington, I really don’t fancy 4 years of abject terror about what comes next every time the President says, ‘Hey, I’ve got a good idea, why don’t we …’

A political candidate who is prepared to abandon any previously held position if he thinks the change will get him elected is nothing new. Having convictions that you change as often as your socks also has a long political pedigree. Telling out and out porkies on the campaign trail has also become a time-honoured practice.

Even if you misquote the idiocies that you find at the bottom of the pages where the Reader’s Digest digesting process has left too much blank space, you will not be barred from high office. Remember Reagan’s ‘trees are the biggest source of air pollution’ which he claimed to have learned from that esteemed source? (And at his next outdoor campaign stop some wag draped the nearest trees with a banner reading ‘Chop me down before I kill again’.)

But there is also a malicious edge to his long line of gaffes. Writing off 47% of voters as work-shy layabouts who expect the government to provide everything on a plate is part of his class credo. But it doesn’t quite square with the fact that the most of them have paid payroll taxes, proving that they do hold down a job; it’s just that their employers don’t pay them enough for them to have to pay federal income tax.

And going to London pre-Olympics and deciding that the whole shebang wasn’t going to work seems just gratuitously insulting. And an excellent opportunity for Boris Johnson to play the yahoo again which is not a thing anybody needs.

But what I really can’t stomach about this candidate is his name. What kind of a name is ‘Mitt’? I know the UK Cabinet has a Glove but that’s his family name and not his fault. No, sorry, but I can’t see any self-respecting democracy electing anyone with a name as ridiculous as ‘Mitt’.

It’s about as stupid as expecting them to elect somebody called ‘Hussain.’